One of the best tools you have when it comes to hiring the perfect nanny for your family is nanny references. But too often, families stop at the surface level, accepting “they were wonderful” or “we loved them” as enough information to make a decision. The truth is, great nanny references go far beyond glowing praise. When read and interpreted beyond any sparkly adjectives included, they can reveal a caregiver’s true strengths, working style, and long-term compatibility with your family.

Learning how to evaluate nanny references thoughtfully is an essential part of hiring with confidence. It’s not just about confirming reliability or experience. It’s about understanding how a nanny interacts with children, handles challenges, and contributes to a family’s daily life.

1) Why Nanny References Matter More Than Ever

In an industry built on trust and relationships, nanny references are your window into real-world performance. They provide context that no resume or interview can fully capture, and through these testimonials, you can gain insight into how a nanny communicates, adapts, and manages the highs and lows of the job.

Well-rounded nanny references can help you:

• Verify that the nanny’s experience matches their resume
• Understand their approach to everything from discipline to communication to problem-solving
• Gauge how they build long-term relationships with both children and parents
• Spot patterns in work history or personality traits that might align, or conflict, with your family’s values

2) The Right Questions to Ask

If you get the opportunity to speak directly to a nanny’s previous employer, go beyond yes-or-no questions. The best nanny references are those that provide specific, detailed insights into the nanny’s style and contributions, and questions that require a yes or no response often can’t dive quite that deep.

Here are some questions to consider including in your conversation:

• How would you describe their relationship with your children?
• How did they handle challenges or unexpected situations?
• Can you describe their communication style with parents?
• Did they take on any daily responsibilities beyond childcare?
• Why did the position end? (Tip: this one can tell you a lot! Is the reference’s answer similar to the nanny’s?)
• Would you hire them again?

These questions encourage thoughtful answers that help you understand the full picture rather than surface-level impressions.

3) Red Flags to Watch For

While most nanny references will include positive comments, it’s important to listen closely for tone, hesitation, or inconsistencies. Subtle cues can reveal valuable insights.

Look out for things like:

• Vague answers, like “she was fine” or “no major issues”
• References who sound surprised or uncomfortable discussing details
• Difficulty verifying employment dates or responsibilities
• Overly brief or overly rehearsed responses

A genuine reference will share clear examples of the nanny’s strengths and working style. If something feels off, trust your instincts and kindly ask follow-up questions to clarify when needed.

4) How (and When) to Read Between the Lines

Sometimes, what is not said in nanny references can be just as telling as what is. A parent might avoid discussing areas where the nanny struggled or may focus on one strong trait to avoid others. This is sometimes the case in reference letters, when the reference knows that the nanny is going to be reading the letter (and another argument as to why direct references are so important!). Pay attention to patterns and phrasing. For example, if multiple references emphasize punctuality but not warmth or communication, that may signal where the nanny’s strengths and challenges lie.

It’s also wise to confirm that references are legitimate. Try to verify that the contact provided is truly a former employer, not a friend or personal connection posing as one. One way to do this? At the beginning of the call, ask the reference how old their children were when the nanny worked with them. Later in the call, ask the reference how old their children are now. If the reference hesitates or isn’t able to answer confidently, that may be a red flag.

5) Creating a Nanny Reference Evaluation Template

Are you the type of person who appreciates hard data? To help you assess nanny references objectively, consider using a simple scoring system or evaluation form. You can rate the nanny across categories such as:

• Reliability and professionalism
• Communication with parents
• Child engagement and creativity
• Handling of discipline and emotional moments
• Flexibility and problem-solving

Using a structured form can allow you to compare candidates fairly and keep emotion or bias from clouding your judgment.

In today’s childcare landscape, nanny references are more than a hiring formality. They’re an essential tool for understanding a caregiver’s true potential. By asking the right questions, reading between the lines, and using a thoughtful evaluation system, families can make informed decisions that lead to lasting, positive placements.

Taking time to evaluate nanny references carefully not only helps you find the best fit for your children but also builds the foundation for a trusted, long-term relationship built on clarity and confidence.