When a crisis occurs, children may struggle to understand what happened and why their world suddenly feels different. Their fears may not always be voiced, but they can show up in the form of clinginess, trouble sleeping, irritability, or even physical symptoms like stomachaches. As parents and caregivers, your response is crucial in helping them process these emotions and regain a sense of safety.

How to Talk to Kids About a Crisis

Children of different ages process events differently, so it’s important to offer information in a way that is clear, honest, and reassuring.

For toddlers and preschoolers (ages 2-5):

Keep explanations simple: “There was a big fire, but we are safe now. The firefighters are helping.” Reassure them with physical comfort: hugs, holding hands, and snuggles go a long way. If they ask the same question repeatedly, answer patiently. Repetition helps them process.

For school-age kids (ages 6-12):

Acknowledge their feelings: “It’s okay to feel scared or worried. A lot of people feel that way after something unexpected happens.” Let them express what they know and correct any misinformation. Provide a sense of control: “We have a plan to stay safe, and there are people working to help.”

For teens (ages 13+):

Have open discussions: Ask what they’ve heard and how they feel about it. Validate their emotions without dismissing them: “That makes sense. It’s a lot to process.” Encourage them to take breaks from social media if the news is overwhelming.

Comforting Phrases to Use

• “You are safe now, and I am here to take care of you.”
• “It’s okay to feel scared. Big feelings are normal after big events.”
• “Let’s talk about what’s on your mind. I’m here to listen.”
• “Even when scary things happen, there are so many helpers around us.”
• “We will get through this together.”

Activities to Help Kids Express Their Feelings

Children, especially younger ones, may not have the words to articulate their emotions. Creative activities can help them express their thoughts in a safe and gentle way:

Drawing or Painting: Ask kids to draw how they’re feeling. For example, “Can you draw a picture of what makes you feel safe?” or “Show me how you felt during the fire.”

Storytelling & Books: Reading books about emotions and resilience can help children process their experiences. Some great options include:

• The Invisible String, by Patrice Karst
• A Terrible Thing Happened, by Margaret Holmes
• After the Fall, by Dan Santat

Journaling for Older Kids: Encourage kids to write about their feelings, either freely or with prompts like “Today I felt…” or “One thing that makes me feel safe is…”

Role-Playing with Dolls or Toys: Young kids may reenact events during playtime. This is a natural way for them to process emotions. Join them and use it as an opportunity to offer reassurance.

Four Ways to Create a Sense of Safety Moving Forward

1. Keep a consistent routine as much as possible. Predictability helps children feel secure.
2. Limit exposure to distressing news or images. If they do see something upsetting, talk it through with them.
3. Involve them in positive actions, like writing thank-you notes to firefighters or making a donation drive to help families in need.
4. Remind them of the safety measures in place: “We have a plan, and we know what to do if something like this happens again.”

Children look to the adults around them to gauge how they should feel. By providing calm reassurance, honest communication, and creative outlets for expression, you can help them process their emotions and regain a sense of security. Every child copes differently, so be patient and offer extra love and support as they work through this experience.