Let’s face it. Nanny interviews can feel personal. You’re not just meeting for a job; you’re meeting the people who will invite you into their home, trust you with their children, and build a working relationship that’s part professional, part personal.

But here’s the tricky part: sometimes, families ask questions that cross into legally sensitive territory, without even realizing it.

Let’s discuss the ten most common illegal nanny interview questions, what families can legally ask, and how to respond with grace, empathy, and professionalism.

A quick note on nuance:

It’s important to understand that household employers are not always governed by the same employment laws as large companies. In some cases, like when hiring someone to provide intimate, personal care to a child or family member, certain preferences (including gender) may be legally allowed.

Additionally, many parents are hiring for the first time. They’re not HR professionals or trained interviewers. They’re often just trying to connect personally and figure out if you’ll be a good fit for their family. When they ask things like “Are you married?” or “Do you have kids?”, they’re often trying to build rapport, not discriminate.

That’s why approaching these moments with empathy can make all the difference. You can gently redirect the conversation while keeping things positive and professional.

With that in mind, here’s a guide to illegal nanny interview questions and how to navigate them gracefully.

1) National Origin or Citizenship

Questions that can raise legal concerns:

• Are you a U.S. citizen?
• Where were you born?
• What is your first language?
• Do you have an accent?

Interview-appropriate version: Are you legally authorized to work in the United States?

If asked:

“If you’re wondering about my work eligibility, I’m fully authorized to work in the U.S. and would be happy to provide documentation.”

2) Age

Potentially problematic questions:

• How old are you?
• What year were you born?
• When did you graduate high school?

Interview-appropriate version: Are you at least 18 years old? Or do you have a driver’s license? (if relevant)

If it comes up:

“I meet the legal working age requirement and have X years of professional nannying experience that I’d love to share.”

3) Marital or Family Status

Often asked to build rapport, but still sensitive:

• Are you married?
• Do you have children?
• Are you planning to have kids soon?
• What does your spouse do for a living?

Interview-appropriate version: Are you able to meet the schedule requirements?

A kind response:

“I appreciate you taking an interest in my personal life! But I’d love to focus on the job at hand for now, and I’m happy to say I’m fully available for the schedule we’ve discussed.”

4) Religion

Sensitive areas:

• What religion are you?
• Do you go to church?
• Can you work Sundays?

Interview-appropriate version: Are you available to work the required schedule?

If asked:

“I’m very flexible and happy to accommodate the schedule we’ve discussed.”

5) Race or Ethnicity

These questions are not appropriate:

• What is your race?
• Are you Hispanic/Asian/etc.?
• Where are your parents from?

Interview-appropriate version: These topics should stay off the table.

If you need to redirect:

“I’d love to tell you more about my experience and approach with children.”

6) Disabilities or Health Conditions

Potential concerns:

• Do you have any disabilities?
• Do you have any chronic illnesses?
• Have you ever filed a workers’ comp claim?
• Are you on any medication?

Interview-appropriate version: Are you able to perform the essential duties of this job?

A confident response:

“I’m fully capable of meeting the responsibilities of the role.”

You are protected under the Americans with Disabilities Act.

7) Gender or Sexual Orientation

Legally sensitive, but sometimes comes up casually:

• Are you pregnant?
• Are you gay/straight/bisexual?
• What is your gender identity?

Interview-appropriate version: These are private topics.

If you’d rather not answer:

“I prefer to focus on how I can best support your family in this role.”

8) Arrest Records

Delicate territory:

• Have you ever been arrested?
• Have you ever been in jail?

Interview-appropriate version: Have you ever been convicted of a crime relevant to this job? (if permitted by local law)

If asked:

“I have no record that would affect my ability to work in this role.”

Know your local laws. Arrest ≠ conviction, and many states ban these questions outright.

9) Military Service

Sometimes families ask about military background without realizing it can touch on sensitive legal territory:

• Were you honorably discharged?
• What type of discharge did you receive?

Interview-appropriate version: What skills or experience did you gain from your military service that are relevant to this role?

If it comes up:

“I’d be happy to share how my military experience has helped me develop strong time management, responsibility, and adaptability—skills that really support me as a nanny.”

10) Financial Status or Personal Life

Sometimes asked out of curiosity, but still personal:

• Do you own or rent?
• Do you have any debt?
• Do you have a car loan?

Interview-appropriate version: Do you have reliable transportation to get to work?

A polite response:

“Yes, I have reliable transportation and will have no trouble arriving on time.”

It’s natural for families to want to get to know you—they’re opening their home to you and entrusting you with their children. At the same time, it’s important to understand your rights and feel confident navigating sensitive topics.

By learning how to handle illegal nanny interview questions with grace, you’re not only protecting yourself—you’re showing families that you’re a confident, professional caregiver who knows how to set boundaries with kindness.