Emotional resilience is an often-overlooked skill. While it might not be first on the default checklist, emotional resilience, the ability to navigate challenges, recover from setbacks, and manage big feelings, is one of the most valuable skills a child can develop. But this type of resilience doesn’t appear overnight. Like all skills, it’s built slowly, through consistent care, empathy, and modeling from the adults in their lives that children trust most.

For many families, that means it takes teamwork between parents and nannies to build emotional resilience. When all caregivers align on how they respond to emotions, set boundaries, and offer comfort, children thrive. Here’s how families and nannies can collaborate to foster emotional development in children, laying a foundation for confidence, empathy, and lifelong well-being.

1) Understanding Emotional Development in Children

Emotional development in children begins in infancy and evolves through every stage of growth. From birth, babies first learn safety and connection through consistent, loving care. As babies grow into toddlers, they begin to recognize and name feelings. School-aged children learn empathy, problem-solving, and emotional regulation. All of this is emotional development in children, and it’s happening every single day.

For children to truly master these skills, they need two things:

• Secure attachment – knowing that the adults around them are dependable, calm, and responsive.
• Consistency – having aligned expectations and reactions from both parents and caregivers.

When parents and nannies present a united front, children feel safe to explore their emotions and learn how to manage them.

2) Build Consistency Through Open Communication

Emotional development in children works best when everyone is on the same page. That means discussing how to handle tantrums, frustration, and rule-setting before these moments arise.

Tips for collaboration:

• Share basic emotional “scripts.” Agree on language that can be consistently used for emotional moments, like “It’s okay to feel upset, but we don’t hit.”
• Create a shared emotional toolkit. Use similar calming techniques at home and during nanny care (deep breaths, quiet corners, emotion charts).
• Stay connected. A quick daily recap between parents and nannies helps identify emotional triggers and celebrate progress.

This teamwork shows children that emotions are manageable and that all caregivers are working together to support them.

3) Model Calm and Empathy

Children learn more from what we do than what we say. Modeling calm, empathy, and patience teaches kids how to regulate themselves.

For nannies and parents:

• Narrate your own emotions at a kid-appropriate level (“I’m feeling frustrated, so I’m taking a deep breath”).
• Validate a child’s feelings before redirecting behavior.
• Use gentle tones and nonverbal reassurance, like a calm presence or a soft touch, to de-escalate tough moments.

According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, consistent emotional modeling helps children develop stronger emotional control and greater empathy.

4) Encourage Problem-Solving Over Perfection

Emotional resilience grows when children are allowed to face challenges and recover. Instead of solving every problem for them, guide them toward solutions.

Example responses:

• “I see you’re upset your tower fell. What could we try differently next time?”
• “It’s okay to be disappointed. Let’s think about how we can fix this together.”

This approach builds confidence, perseverance, and self-awareness, core components of emotional development in children.

5) Teach Emotional Vocabulary

Young children often act out because they don’t yet have the words to describe how they feel. Expanding their emotional vocabulary helps them express needs, builds emotional resilience, and reduces frustration.

Practical ways to do this:

• Read emotion-based picture books together.
• Use feelings charts or flashcards during downtime.
• Label emotions in the moment: “You look sad,” “That made you proud,” “You seem worried.”

Over time, naming emotions becomes second nature, helping kids communicate instead of melting down.

6) Create Age-Appropriate Coping Tools

Every age group needs different emotional support. Here are a few caregiver-tested ideas:

a) Toddlers (1–3 years):

• Cozy corners with soft toys and calming visuals
• Simple “breathe with me” routines

b) Preschoolers (3–5 years):

• Calm-down jars or breathing buddies
• Role-playing to practice empathy and patience

c) School-aged children (6–10 years):

• Journaling or drawing to process emotions
• Gratitude activities to shift focus from frustration to positivity

When both parents and nannies use the same coping strategies, children learn consistency, security, and self-regulation.

7) Prioritize Reflection and Growth

Building emotional resilience takes time, and progress isn’t always linear. Parents and nannies can support each other by regularly reflecting on what’s working and what needs adjusting.

Consider setting monthly or quarterly check-ins to discuss emotional milestones or recurring challenges. These small conversations strengthen not only your caregiving alignment but also your partnership.

Emotional development in children is a daily journey, but it’s one that begins with the relationships they trust most: their caregivers. When parents and nannies collaborate intentionally, children grow into confident, compassionate, and resilient individuals.

By creating a unified caregiving approach, you’re helping children build emotional strength that lasts a lifetime.