Welcoming a great nanny into your home can feel like striking gold. Suddenly, you have someone you trust to care for your children, someone who brings calm to the chaos, and someone who becomes a professional extension of your own family.

But while finding the right nanny is a major win, keeping that relationship strong over time takes more than luck. It takes intention, clear communication, and mutual care. When a nanny feels truly valued and supported, they don’t just stay, they thrive. When your nanny knows that you respect the work that they do, they are more likely to invest fully in your family and build a beautiful, lasting bond with your little ones that can extend far beyond the end of their work day.

1) Why recognition and fair compensation matter more than you think

One of the most powerful ways to retain a nanny is to ensure they feel valued, not just as an employee, but as a vital part of your family’s life.

a) Recognition goes a long way

Nanny work is emotionally demanding and often invisible outside of your household. While it can certainly be a gratifying career, it’s not always viewed as a respectable path in our society. Small gestures of appreciation can make a big difference, like:

• Saying “thank you” regularly and sincerely
• Giving thoughtful (not necessarily expensive!) holiday or birthday gifts
• Writing a card or note expressing your gratitude
• Including your nanny in family celebrations (if appropriate)

Don’t underestimate the emotional impact of being seen, heard, and appreciated.

b) Fair pay = long-term commitment

Compensation is more than a paycheck. It’s a signal of how much you value your nanny’s work and well-being.

To keep your nanny happy:

• Offer competitive wages for your area and the level of responsibility involved
• Include benefits where possible—health insurance contributions, PTO, paid holidays, and sick leave are all valuable additions and show you understand and respect that this is a profession
• Offer raises when appropriate, like when responsibilities increase
• Pay legally and provide a written work agreement to show professionalism and respect

Like with any industry, when a nanny is fairly compensated, they’re more likely to stay committed.

2) How to create opportunities for professional growth

Nannies are career caregivers. Unlike sitters who may love kids but don’t intend on working with children professionally indefinitely, many nannies are career professionals. Just like in any other profession, they thrive when given chances to learn, develop, and grow in their role.

Here’s how you can support their growth:

• Offer to fund professional development. Workshops on child development, CPR recertification, or early education classes can deepen their skills and show that you’re invested in their future.
• Encourage new experiences. Let them lead activities or try out parenting tools that are in alignment with your values (like Montessori principles).
• Support long-term goals. Some nannies have long-term goals outside of private care, such as becoming teachers, therapists, or doulas. Showing interest in their aspirations creates a relationship based on mutual respect and care.

When an individual is given opportunities to grow professionally, they’re more likely to feel fulfilled in their role.

3) The importance of regular check-ins to prevent burnout

Even the most experienced, passionate nanny can face moments of fatigue or frustration. Regular check-ins help you stay ahead of burnout and address any small issues before they become big ones.

Try this:

• Schedule weekly or biweekly chats. These don’t have to be formal. Just a few minutes to ask how things are going and if they need anything from you.
• Create a space for feedback. Ask questions like:
  • “How are you feeling about the current schedule?”
  • “Is there anything we could adjust to make your job smoother?”
  • “Do you feel you have enough support?”
• Be receptive to concerns. If your nanny shares that they’re feeling stretched thin or unclear on expectations, listen with curiosity, not defensiveness.

These check-ins can prevent resentment from building and give both of you a chance to realign on routines, expectations, and communication.

4) Simple ways to build a loyal, lasting relationship with your nanny

Strong nanny-family relationships are built on mutual trust, kindness, and thoughtful boundaries. If you’re aiming for long-term retention, it’s important to nurture not just the working relationship, but the human one.

Here are some simple, effective ways to build a lasting connection:

• Respect their time. Avoid last-minute schedule changes or asking for extra hours without notice or additional compensation.
• Honor their privacy. While your nanny may be close to your family, they’re still a professional. Respecting their space, routines, and time off goes a long way, especially if they’re a live-in nanny.
• Check in on them. Ask how they’re doing, not just in relation to your child, but as a person. Are they doing alright? Is there anything happening in their life they’d like support with? Opening these conversations while maintaining professional boundaries can make a big impact. Just make sure you avoid crossing professional lines.
• Celebrate their milestones. Whether it’s a work anniversary, a personal achievement, or a birthday, acknowledging these moments goes a long way.

You don’t have to (and shouldn’t necessarily!) become best friends, but treating your nanny with genuine kindness, consistency, and professional respect is the foundation of long-term loyalty.

Keeping a nanny happy long-term isn’t about grand gestures but consistent, thoughtful support. When you recognize their value, invest in their growth, communicate regularly, and nurture trust, you build a relationship that benefits everyone.