Working in a household with grandparents present can be a blessing—and a challenge. While their love and involvement are so important in the children’s lives, things can get tricky when grandparents feel the need to hover, second-guess, or micromanage your work.

Here are our top tips for nannying around grandparents so you can maintain your professionalism, build mutual respect, and continue to do your job with confidence and grace.

1) Why Nannying Around Grandparents Can Be Tricky

Let’s be honest: nannying around grandparents adds a layer of complexity to your job. You might find yourself constantly feeling watched, interrupted mid-routine, or offered advice (whether or not you asked for it).

While grandparents are often well-intentioned and have the kids’ best interests at heart, their presence can blur the lines of authority, disrupt routines, and cause confusion for the kids, especially if you’re being undermined in real time. It’s important to recognize that this is a delicate dynamic and not a reflection of your abilities. The key is to stay calm, set boundaries, and remember that you’re a professional hired to do a job.

2) Stay Professional, Always

When you’re nannying around grandparents, professionalism is your greatest strength. Even if you’re feeling frustrated or second-guessed, resist the urge to get defensive. Instead, stay calm, polite, and confident in your approach.

Stick to your routine. Follow the parents’ directions (not Grandma’s new idea for snack time). And if there’s a conflict between what the grandparents want and what the parents have asked you to do, defer to the parents’ wishes, and gently explain that you’re simply following the agreed-upon plan.

3) Communicate with the Parents

If nannying around grandparents becomes a regular source of tension, it’s time to talk to your employers. Bring up your concerns respectfully and focus on the impact it’s having on the children or your ability to do your job.

For example: “I’ve noticed that when Grandma steps in, it sometimes confuses the kids or disrupts our routine. I want to make sure I’m supporting your family the best way I can. Would you be open to setting some boundaries with them?”

Most parents appreciate open, honest communication and want their nanny to feel empowered and supported, especially in tricky situations like this.

4) Acknowledge, Then Redirect

When grandparents offer input or try to take control, a helpful strategy is to acknowledge, then redirect. This allows you to show respect without compromising your role.

For example:
“That’s a great idea, thank you! I’ll definitely mention it to the parents and see what they prefer. For now, I’m going to stick to what we’ve been doing.”

This small but powerful response validates their voice while reinforcing that you’re following the parents’ guidance, not playing tug-of-war over authority.

Nannying around grandparents doesn’t have to feel like walking on eggshells. By staying professional, communicating clearly with parents, and redirecting gracefully, you can create a respectful dynamic that allows everyone, especially the kids, to thrive.